Thoughts on a mountain top

I humbled myself to make it available for an opportunity that I know might not happen the next time round. But it just takes one sentence to crush the hope. I wanted to say there is only one purpose for the things that were done but it just cannot come out of my mouth. And I do not know why. I volunteered so I cannot blame anyone for it. Even the sleepless night is a choice and not a must. I know. Things are not always what it seems to be as only knowing the heart will know what it actually means. Right now, I only want to possess a childlike faith. I do not wish to ponder about anything. Guess I am getting tired again and I have to do something about it. Sorry.